come correct

because black feminist sex is the best sex ever...this site was created by those of us having and committed to having transformative erotic experiences with/as black feminists. (and both! oh both!!!!!!)

this is also a wake up call to anyone who insists on intimacy without accountability, condones violence against black women, or refuses to be transformed by the ecstatic miracle that black women exist. you are seriously missing out.

come correct.
Now you know us, you should follow us. Peep the About page or the Archive. Got a Question? Ask Us! Or








just imagine your crush masturbating to the thought of you and making little moans and whispering your name and jESUS I NEED TO SIT DOWN

i wish id never signed up to this website

This made my pussy clench. I’m gonna go think on this deeper.

(blood pumps faster)

I don’t even have a crush and my girl parts tingled. wtf is happeningggggg

**masturbates to the thought of this…..while high**

(Source: dangergays)


Poster reads:
"WE DON’T wanna MARRY, WE JUST wanna FUCK (and flame, freak out, flaunt it, fuck up, figure it out, figure it out again, and do something with our lives that isn’t just about property rights and patriarchy, OK?)"
by QACC (Queers Against Capitalist Crap)

Happy Birthday, Marsha!


My dear friend and sister reina gossett’s dream is to tell Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson’s story on the night of Stonewall. Please share, give and support this powerful short film!

(via dirtygem)


Nonviolent Communication can hurt people



People who struggle interpersonally, who seem unhappy, or who get into a lot of conflicts are often advised to adopt the approach of Nonviolent Communication. 

This is often not a good idea. Nonviolent Communication is an approach based on refraining from seeming to judge others, and instead expressing everything in terms of your own feelings. For instance, instead of “Don’t be such an inconsiderate jerk about leaving your clothes around”, you’d say “When you leave your clothing around, I feel disrespected.”. That approach is useful in situations in which people basically want to treat each other well but have trouble doing so because they don’t understand one another’s needs and feelings. In every other type of situation, the ideology and methodology of Nonviolent Communication can make things much worse.

Nonviolent Communication can be particularly harmful to marginalized people or abuse survivors. It can also teach powerful people to abuse their power more than they had previously, and to feel good about doing so. Non-Violent Communication has strategies that can be helpful in some situations, but it also teaches a lot of anti-skills that can undermine the ability to survive and fight injustice and abuse.

For marginalized or abused people, being judgmental is a necessary survival skill. Sometimes it’s not enough to say “when you call me slurs, I feel humiliated” - particularly if the other person doesn’t care about hurting you or actually wants to hurt you. Sometimes you have to say “The word you called me is a slur. It’s not ok to call me slurs. Stop.” Or “If you call me that again, I’m leaving.” Sometimes you have to say to yourself “I’m ok, they’re mean.” All of those things are judgments, and it’s important to be judgmental in those ways.

You can’t protect yourself from people who mean you harm without judging them. Nonviolent Communication works when people are hurting each other by accident; it only works when everyone means well. It doesn’t have responses that work when people are hurting others on purpose or without caring about damage they do. Which, if you’re marginalized or abused, happens several times a day. NVC does not have a framework for acknowledging this or responding to it.

In order to protect yourself from people who mean you harm, you have to see yourself as having the right to judge that someone is hurting you. You also have to be able to unilaterally set boundaries, even when your boundaries are upsetting to other people. Nonviolent Communication culture can teach you that whenever others are upset with you, you’re doing something wrong and should change what you do in order to meet the needs of others better. That’s a major anti-skill. People need to be able to decide things for themselves even when others are upset.

Further, NVC places a dangerous degree of emphasis on using a very specific kind of language and tone. NVC culture often judges people less on the content of what they’re saying than how they are saying it. Abusers and cluelessly powerful people are usually much better at using NVC language than people who are actively being hurt. When you’re just messing with someone’s head or protecting your own right to mess with their head, it’s easy to phrase things correctly. When someone is abusing you and you’re trying to explain what’s wrong, and you’re actively terrified, it’s much, much harder to phrase things in I-statements that take an acceptable tone.

Further, there is *always* a way to take issue with the way someone phrased something. It’s really easy to make something that’s really about shutting someone up look like a concern about the way they’re using language, or advice on how to communicate better. Every group I’ve seen that valued this type of language highly ended up nitpicking the language of the least popular person in the group as a way of shutting them up. 

tl;dr Be careful with Nonviolent Communication. It has some merits, but it is not the complete solution to conflict or communication that it presents itself as. If you have certain common problems, NVC is dangerous.

((I bolded my favorite parts))

This reminds me of a time when a person I care about wasn’t treating me great and I tried using I-statements with them and they said:

"I’m not invalidating your feelings" (and went on to say a bunch of really invalidating things and INSISTING they were not invalidating).

It was really funny.

(via i-was-a-dragon)



Trans* Gear Annual Community Scholarship was founded in 2012 by trans-identified students, community members, and their allies in response to the struggles and needs of transgender communities. Many trans* individuals have difficulty accessing gear that helps them move through the world more accurately. We connect applicants in need with new gender-affirming accessories, clothing, and gear such as Stand-to-Pee devices (STPs), binders, trans-specific undergarments (i.e.: gaffs, packing straps), breast forms, packers and other prosthetics. Our mission is simple: to link trans*, genderqueer, gender-questioning/gender-exploring and gender-diverse individuals with the gear needed to feel self-affirmed and/or explore their gender identities. The Trans* Gear team grants scholarships for trans* gear valued at a maximum of $100 US (including the cost of shipping).1 To be considered, applicants should be prepared to submit some information to the Trans* Gear team. Please note that any information you share will be treated with the greatest care and your personal information will not be distributed or shared in anyway. (At the end of the fund, all application materials will be deleted and destroyed.) You must be a US resident, be able to receive mail, and loosely identify as a trans/gender, genderqueer, multigendered/bigendered gender-questioning, gender-variant individual (no requirement to be out or visible, or prove/need to be “certain” that you are trans*, use the language of trans-ness to describe yourself etc).2 Strong preference is given to applicants with financial hardship and other social/cultural barriers to accessibility. Please note that committee members may like to use some of your responses to help generate awareness of the Trans* Gear scholarship with your permission. Please email your (brief) answers to the following questions to on or before NOVEMBER 1st, 2014:1. Preferred name(s) and pronoun(s).2. Age. 3. Mailing address to a location where you may safely receive mail. Please note that some companies do not mail to P.O. Boxes. 4. If selected as a recipient, what name should we use on the package? For your safety, please let us know in your application how we can discreetly mail gear to you if are selected as a recipient. (i.e.: “use my legal name ‘Susan’ instead of ‘Sam’ on the packaging)
5. Email address and/or phone number where it is safe to receive verbal or written notification. Let us know if you have a preference, by email, by phone, or either. Unfortunately, we cannot correspond via snail mail at this time. 5b.(if applicable) If we may contact you by phone, may we leave voicemail or message stating that we are the Trans* Gear Team calling about your application? Y / N? If you select phone as your preferred mode of communication and do not want us to leave a voicemail or message, we will only make one (1) additional attempt to contact you beyond the first call. 5c. (if applicable) If we may contact you by phone, what are the best days/times to call? 6. What sort of device/gear do you need? How much is the requested item? What size do you need? Please provide:a. The specificlink to the item (not the general site link).b. Name or SKUs/model numbers of the item. c. Size and/or color requested. Make sure you have the appropriate size/color by carefully researching the item you need and measuring your body appropriately. We are not able to return gear or exchange items for another size. If you need help selecting the appropriate size or item, many companies will correspond with you by email or over the phone about their products and services. EXAMPLE: If you were requesting a chest binder from Underworks you would tell us the price, name/model number, size, and color you want, cost of shipping, and the internet link to the item: Ultimate Chest Binder Tank, #997100105, $29.99, white, size XL, shipping is $5.99. Optional: Racial or ethnic identities, ability status, or other identities and life experiences that you feel provide context for your application. 8. Have you applied for the Trans* Gear fund before? Were you selected as a recipient? If yes, tell us when (what year) and what gear item you received. If you received gear from us in the past, please briefly explain why you are applying for funding again.9. Tell us a little about yourself and address the following questions: Why are you applying? If financial hardship is an issue, be sure to mention that in your response. How would a Trans* Gear Scholarship help you feel more affirmed in your gender(s) and/or facilitate your gender exploration? Feel free to write as little or as much as you feel comfortable with; however, please try to limit your response to one page as several lengthy applications can quickly overwhelm our small staff. Writing Tip: Be specific in your answer because the more information we know about you and your situation, the better able we will be to understand how the fund can assist you.10. May the trans* gear committee anonymously use your response to question #9 for the purposes of raising-awareness (i.e.: newsletter, website, letters to donors)?Y / N ? We never distribute, share, or disclose any information regarding applicants/recipients in our advertising, fundraising, or consciousness-raising efforts. Your response would be featured anonymously (no name or other identifying information would be attached to the featured response).

*Scholarship funds are used to purchase gear on behalf of selected applicants. Number of scholarship recipients depends on number of applications and total cost of requested gear.

*We honor multiple definitions and embodiments under or beyond the trans* umbrella.